Virus, Etc.

This is a good news / bad news sort of thing.  Good news is I did get a job, fairly quickly AND with a 40% pay increase.  The bad news is my ‘creeping malaise’ has been identified as chronic fatigue, or, more scarily, Myalgic encephalomyelitis, and now I’ll be out of a job again.  It’s an explanation for why I’ve been feeling so poorly the last nearly year and half, not to mention progressively getting worse.  Some relatively good news is my employer has short-term and long-term disability and, assuming they don’t jerk me around (haven’t heard back from the insurance agent yet), I should be able to provide for my family without making changes to our lifestyle.  If I do get screwed, then draconian barely begins to describe what’ll have to happen to our lifestyle, starting with selling our ‘ranch’ in the country.  Fingers crossed that won’t happen.

The way CF is diagnosed is by exclusion.  Basically, the doctors try every test they can think of, results come back negative (meaning nothings wrong), but they still believe me.  I’ve had a complete cardiac workup, including being injected with, I’m sure, more radioactivity than I used working nearly 7 years in a laboratory, 2.5 of those years in the lab that used more radioactivity than the entire rest of the (Virginia Tech) campus combined (or so I was told).  Since I’m an old fat white man, it made perfect sense to check that, but, alas, I was given a clean bill of health.  Same for pulmonary, nerve tests (quite painful!), MRI of my head, hormone checks (though low on testosterone).  I’m sure I’ve ‘donated’ a quart or more of blood with all these tests.

A common complaint along with the fatigue is fuzzy thinking, or mental fog.  Looking back at my blog posts when we went to Germany for a week last June, the mental effects were already present, just not to the degree I could recognize as an issue.  That started to change a few months ago, I was actually thinking I was developing dementia.  The ‘senior moments,’ coupled with an interesting/terrifying dream, prompted me to start writing a screenplay inspired by the thoughts I was having, but it wound up short at 50 pages and I have (so far) lacked the focus to work on the excellent suggestions my editor made.

It was a coincidental reminder of CF that triggered a reread of the symptoms and when I saw ‘mental fog’ I realized that was most likely the problem.  I reached out to my GP and, after a few more tests and visits to specialists, she agreed I had CF.  She put me on a drug that’s supposed to help with the mental fog of CF patients (Cymbalta, if you care), but things seemed to get worse.  I was told by the doctor and my lovely wife (a research nurse) to suck it up, butter cup (well, they might have been a bit more polite), it can take 4-6 weeks to find out if it has any benefit.  Oh joy.  Well, one of the specialists I met with is a psychiatrist, someone who specializes in these exotic drugs, and she felt I’d do better combining with yet another drug, Lamictal, which has some scary potential side effects.  More ‘suck it up’ from the wife, so I started that.  Shockingly (not), I was worse after I started it.  As I write this, I feel slightly better able to think, but still struggle reading or writing, or, really, much of anything besides watching TV, then taking a nap when that gets too exhausting.

So what does this mean for my movie making ‘career’?  If (and I sometimes feel that’s a real ‘if’) I can regain some level of mental acuity (I have, a few times here and there, felt lucid for as long as a couple of hours, but have yet to find a way to be productive during those brief intervals), I intend to write again (screenplays as well as novels) and, perhaps, do some programming for a game I’ve wanted to write for a couple of decades and some biotech research, the reason I got a biochem degree in the first place.  Directing, though, I think will be entirely beyond me, unless some magic happens and I can recover from the fatigue (I don’t think I’ve been awake 8 hours continuous in over 4 months).  Producing is a possibility, at least in the preproduction stage, where being awake on other people’s schedule is less critical.

Where does that leave Treasure Hunt and my other projects? Well, I found two volunteers in England to help me with it, for credit.  For audio, I got Jamie Stowe (didn’t find anything to link to online) and he reworked most of the flick (except the begin and end credits).  He suggested Jamie Bulman (pretty sure that’s his website) to do coloring.  The good news is they both got their material back to me.  The bad news is I’m too addle headed to do anything useful with it to this point.  I did have a movie making friend look at the colored version (Jamie B.) and sent me a few frames of before and after and we agreed there was improvement, but at this point I’m too scatterbrained to do anything more with it.  Hopefully the drugs will reach a point where I can focus long enough to get something done (this post, while lengthy, was a pain to write – I misspell words I used to type correctly and sometimes forget what point I had halfway through a sentence; conversation can be even weirder than usual as the exact same thing happens, but I can’t go back and edit before saying it).  If so, I’ll finally create the DVDs I owe the crowd funders.

I was working on a short, called “Fuck Retirement,” that’s on indefinite hold, as is my Lily’s Party horror.  I was working with an actress intending to be writer/director for her short (well, I did write it), but, even when the virus has blown over, I doubt I can continue.  Even my billion-dollar energy idea languishes in limbo, I can’t seem to do a damn thing.  Even if I can think again, I don’t know that I’ll ever have the energy to direct, even if we keep the days short and I sit most of the time.

So, there you go.  Totally too much information.  But at least those handful of people that have been wondering why I’ve been so damn quiet can now have an explanation.  Even if it doesn’t explain anything.

Latest, Not Greatest

Biggest news is I’m (temporarily, I hope) unemployed.  Life as a contractor. I had notice, and my current employer actually got me another offer before the last one ended, but a week ago that offer was rescinded for mumble mumble reasons.  I’ve since been able to get a second offer (that comes with a whopping 40% increase in compensation: also life as a contractor), but no timing on when I’ll start collecting a paycheck again.  You’d think I’d have plenty of time to be productive and get things done, wouldn’t you?

What this means, though, is any movie making efforts that cost money have ground to a halt.  My “Fuck Retirement” short, though incredibly cheap, is on hold. Lily Horror I decided to outright cancel, though I have some hopes I might be able to revive it for late Summer.  Assuming my new job actually starts producing paychecks, I’ve begun negotiating with my wife taking some of that 40% increase and dedicating it to movie making. Which should mean being able to pay cast and crew, which should make it easier to find cast and crew.

Some good news re Treasure Hunt.  I found two guys (who I believe happen to be in England), one to rework/optimize the sound, the other to colorize.  Both appear to be making progress, both are content with reel (e.g., credit – an entry on IMDB), so that should kick the flick up a notch (or twain).  Of course, that does imply additional delay to getting disks made. And I have no ETA for completion.

I’ve tried editing the footage I have for Domestique.  The problem is while the footage looks amazing in the preview (can even see the freckles on the face of the actress), when rendered it looks like crap.  Everything I’ve tried up to this point has failed to resolve the situation. The frustration has reached a tipping point and I’m taking a break while I ponder life, the universe and everything.

I had a bit of an epiphany recently.  I’ve been trying to make some progress with Blender with the idea of potentially making money doing animation.  I realized, though, that I already have a concept related to movie making with a realistic (though low, of course) chance of making money: Domestique.  Coupled with an invention I’ve been dilly dallying with for over a year now that could (if successful, of course) be worth billions to me personally, the idea of spending time on Blender (or, really, anything that isn’t Domo or this invention) is a really bad idea.  Sadly, little has changed from pre-epiphany, though I like to blame that on this FUBARed job situation (I’m usually really good at multitasking, so that’s really a cop-out excuse).

So, there you go.  Much has happened, little has been accomplished.

Free to Good Home: Cannibal Lesbian Snuff Film

OK, I’m going to throw this out to the universe.  It’s an idea that came to me whilst taking a nap, just before Christmas, and as enthusiastic as I am about it, nearly every bit of feedback I’ve got is there’s no value in pursuing it.  If you’re a producer and this idea is interesting to you, I’m happy to be hired to write it – even direct it – so feel free to reach out.  If you like the idea but don’t want me further involved, I’d appreciate a ‘story by’ credit and to know it’s happening.

Title: Cannibal Lesbian Snuff Film

Subtitle: Featuring a lot of Gratuitous T&A

Logline: Follow the making-of an indie horror by an Ed Wood-like director desperate to escape his legacy.


Harold’s an award winning director of horror movies – the more graphic the violence and greater exposed female skin, the happier his fans.

There’s just one problem: Harold hates horror and is mortified he makes his living as a misogynist objectifying women.

He comes up with a desperate idea: make a film so morally objectionable that no one will want to watch it.

A film within a film (within a film) documenting Harold’s efforts to extract himself from his plight.

After approaching some friends and getting largely negative feedback, I asked on Reddit for some additional thoughts.  First on r/Screenwriting and at the urging of someone there, r/Horror.  Sadly, the general consensus there was the likely market was too small to have any realistic chance at distribution.  One poster, though, did suggestion the idea of a mockumentary, which I think is an excellent fit, but thought the title was too provocative.

So, with no further ado (wtf does that even mean?), here’s the 1,500 word synopsis I wrote:


Fade in to a night-time chase in progress, fully colorized and with suitable music.  Nude Woman is racing through the woods away from two other women wearing skimpy bikinis.  Brunette Bikini is carrying a spot light and a camera, while Blonde Bikini has a crossbow.

The scene shifts to that of the camera being held by Brunette Bikini.  A bit shaky and a little grainy, it shows Nude Woman from the back, waist up, running away.

Back to the HD version, the spotlight crosses Nude Woman, leaning against a tree to catch her breath.  She looks back in terror. Blonde Bikini raises her crossbow. There’s a twang and a bolt strikes the tree right next to her head.  Nude Woman takes off running again.

She steps on something painful, looks directly into the camera crying out in pain, then falls down.  The music and ambiance sounds fade. She painfully gets back on her feet and there’s a second twang. The visuals switch to non-colorized and, from the back, Nude Woman leaps forward, an arrow in her back.  Her butt is just out of sight below the bottom of the camera.


The view shifts to a behind-the-scenes look of a movie set.  Nude Woman is wearing a backless one-piece flesh-colored bodysuit and is lying on pads, the camera right behind where she jumped forward.  The other two actresses are in chairs, wearing robes, one reading a script, the other on her phone. Director walks toward Nude Woman.

“Can you get a little higher?  I’d like to get your butt in frame.”

Nude Woman stands up and, nodding, “Won’t you see my bathing suit?”

Director shrugs, “I’ll paint it out in post. It’s only a few frames.”

Still with the BTS view, Nude Woman sets up, then leaps forward onto the mat.

“Perfect.  That’s a wrap for Nude Woman.”  Everyone starts clapping. Nude Woman accepts the accolades.

Dissolve to an earlier scene.  Still BTS, the in-frame camera is setup to capture Nude Woman running away.  Nude Woman starts to run, steps on something painful, turns to look in shock back at the camera, then cries out in pain as she stumbles forward.

Director and several other people rush toward Nude Woman, various shouts of “Are you OK?”

Nude Woman rolls onto her back, clearly revealing she’s wearing a flesh-colored bodysuit.  She’s grimacing and brushes off the sole of her foot. There’s a red mark, but it’s not bleeding.  A nurse examines her foot, gently probing. Nude Woman winces a little, but gains confidence.

As everyone calms down, Director says, “Are you OK if I use that shot?  Your expression was perfect.”

Nude Woman nods, “Get the gold wherever it happens.”

Dissolve to an office.  The camera pans across a series of posters on the wall, cheap fake-wood paneling, all showing various ‘B’ horror movies, many featuring Nude Woman.  While this is happening the dialog below prelaps.

Nude Woman, “I’m really sorry.  I got the must-join letter yesterday, but wanted to tell you in person.”

Director heaves a huge sigh.  “It had to happen; you’re too good for me.”

Nude Woman: “But without you, I wouldn’t be in this position.”

Director: “When is your last day?”

Nude Woman: “The fifteenth.”

The camera finishes its pan and is on Director and Nude Woman.  He’s behind a desk that looks like it was salvaged from a junkyard.  His chair is similar and the chairs on the other side of the desk, where Nude Woman is sitting, are mismatched.

Director: “I can change your role to a victim and get you shot out by then, if you like.”

Nude Woman: “I’d love that.”

She gets up and goes around to the director, who’s looking forlornly at his desk.

Nude Woman: “I won’t forget where I came from. If you ever get big enough for SAG, send me whatever you got.”

Director looks up with a little hope, then stands.  Nude Woman gives him a hug. He returns it in non-creepy way.

Nighttime, colorized and with creepy music and background sounds, Blonde Bikini smiles in satisfaction as she kneels down to topless big breasted Victim, who’s handcuffed on the ground with her arms stretched out above her.  Blonde Bikini brandishes a big serrated knife and uses it to slowly slice one of Victim’s breasts off. Victim screams in agony.

Brunette Bikini finishes setting up her camera. It’s (grainy) recording Victim from just above her crotch to her wrists above her head.

(In HD) Brunette Bikini frowns, then walks toward Victim, brandishing a big-assed knife.  Kneeling, she slams it down into the throat of Victim silencing her. The music and background fades.  Victim stares up with a fixed expression of horror.

Upset, Blonde Bikini looks up at Brunette, “Why’d you do that?”

Brunette: “All that screaming gives me a headache.  Probably gives our viewers one to.”

The color goes away and the scene brightens.

Blonde: “It’s my favorite part.  I was planning to gut her before she died. Besides, they can always watch it on mute.”

Brunette shrugs.  “Give me a bite?”

Blonde takes a bite from the breast and hands it to Brunette.

Director: “Cut!  Perfect. Let’s get one more for insurance.  Besides, I already paid for the second prosthetic.”

Switch to BTS view, Victim lifts her hands from where they were ‘secured’ and releases the handcuffs using the built-in mechanism.  She sits up and is helped to her feet by Brunette.

A BTS look where Victim is laying on her back.  The arm next to the camera, which is pulled back some distance away, is up over her head while the other one is down by her side.  Next to her head is a sheet of clear Plexiglas and just to the other side is a block of Styrofoam. Her neck has a small amount of blood on it.

Director calls ‘Action.’ and Brunette Bikini kneels down and slams the knife into the block of Styrofoam as the camera drops to Victim’s neck.

Continuing BTS camera look, Interviewer approaches Nude Woman.  “You were Director’s lead for years, now you’re relegated to practically a cameo.  What’s the story?”

Nude Woman: “I assume you know Director doesn’t work with SAG, well I got a must-join letter.  All thanks to him, really. Director making me lead is what got me the recognition to get onto mainstream productions.”

Staying with BTS, Interviewer approaches Blonde and Brunette Bikinis about their scanty clothes and nude look.  “I admire you ladies for your… exposure while filming. Doesn’t it make you uncomfortable to wear so little?”

Blonde Bikini, gesturing to the two of them: “We’re models, so are used to wearing next to nothing and parading around in front of lots of people with cameras.”

Brunette Bikini, nodding: “Yeah.  Realistically, we’re wearing more and there’s fewer people watching and recording than usual.”

Colorized with music Blonde and Brunette Bikini are standing around a table with parts of a corpse on it.  They’re enjoying snacking on the bits when the door is busted down. Cops stream into the room shouting various forms of ‘freeze’ and ‘hands up.’

Blonde Bikini, closest to the door, turns to stare at them in blazing anger, but is otherwise immobile.  Brunette Bikini stares with a thoughtful expression, with her hands below the edge of the table.

A senior cop enters the room, “It took a while. This is the first case I’ve worked where the amount of evidence was so much it slowed down analysis.  But it’s all over now.”

Blonde Bikini pivots and runs screaming toward the cops, which all open fire at the same time and she drops dead.  The guns all shift to Brunette bikini and she continues to stare at them with a thoughtful expression.

She glances at the camera set up to record their cannibalism, shifts around, then slowly brings up her hands, one containing a big butcher knife.

Switching to camera view, she stares directly into the camera. To a cacophony of ‘drop the knife’s she takes the blade and slices her throat.  With an orgasmic expression, she slides out of sight below the table.

Credits role as the view pulls back to reveal it’s on a movie screen.  The view shifts to a podium and a presenter stands up to a spot light.

Presenter: “It should come at no surprise to our viewers that the jury unanimously selected ‘Cannibal Lesbian Snuff Film – Featuring a lot of Gratuitous T&A’ as their favorite.  I must say, the choice of title and subtitle are a fantastic decision, showing his deep understanding of genre aficionados.”

Out of the spotlight, Director sits with a deprecating look of frustration on his face.  He heaves a big sigh.

“Once again, Director is to be awarded best writer, director and editor for this masterpiece.  And I’m happy to report, he’s already inked a profitable distribution deal which will put this on all the major streaming services.  Put your hands together for the Jury’s first prize.”

The spotlight focuses on the director, who pastes a happy expression on his face as he walks to the podium.

Fade to black.

Domestique Nearing… Something

The Domestique short has finally reached the stage where the latest cut I got from the editor left me with the feeling I hadn’t wasted $5K.  Almost to the point I wouldn’t be embarrassed to actually put it to its original intended use: to interest actual retired professional domestiques to fund the project.

That being said, I’m not totally happy with it.  But my editor – who has been working on it for around 5 months now – is ready to move on.  I have to decide if I want to start over and hope I can produce something better (all while learning Blender and hopefully making a horror short) or run the risk that my proof-of-concept has enough deficiencies that it will turn off potential investors.

I’m trapped in analysis paralysis at the moment.  I got a nice shiny new mobile workstation specifically for editing (and now animation), which should have more than enough horsepower to get the job done in a timely manner, but beyond the PITA that is greenscreen (though I’ve learned better ways to remove the green without causing artifacts, when the background image requires the chromakey-ed foreground to move in relation things get complicated quickly), there’s a substantial dearth of the stock footage I feel I need to sell the story I initially wrote.

What to do, what to do…

Blender for Dream?

A Beautiful Dream was pushed so far back on the stove that I considered it effectively dead.  Which was sad, but I felt the required production values (much if it takes place in a high-end mansion) were too much to consider with the budget (basically, food and maybe help with gas) I felt I could winkle out of my wife.

Then I started to research matte paintings for use in my horror concept.  Why?  Well, there’s a scene I feel is important where the characters drive up to a large, imposing mansion on a hill, except my budget only allowed me to use our rather pedestrian house.  I remembered the technique used to extend sets and thought that’d be a perfect solution to my problem.  I reached out to a number of artists and while the prices I was getting back are eminently feasible for any standard Hollywood production, the quotes were too much for my tiny little budget.  And I believe I came up with a way to edit around the issue while still preserving what I felt was important to the scene.

But a seed was planted and Dream slid slightly forward on the stove.  If I could get a series of inexpensive matte paintings, perhaps I could shoot it the way I envisioned on a vastly smaller budget using greenscreen.  But I totally lack any sort of artistic ability, so struggled with how to work around my non-existent budget.  It simmered slightly for while, then I recalled ‘architectural rendering‘ as a concept.  Some of this stuff is so photorealistic that it takes a trained eye to search for the little tiny mistakes that reveal the synthetic origin.  So I invested some time seeing what the learning curve looked like for such things, focused on what would work on Linux, since I’m anti Windows and Mac.

Interestingly, most of the links pointed toward Blender.  Blender is a general-purpose animation tool that’s free (open source), actively maintained and is used by some of the big animation studios for their paid commercial work.  I’ve heard there’s a steep learning curve to Blender (well, this is largely true of animation (or CAD) programs in general) and had made abortive attempts in the past to learn about it.  What was more interesting was during this process I learned about architectural animations, which was even more the ideal to satisfy the production needs of Dream.  Years ago I researched the notion of doing motion/face capture for animation (in Blender!) for a scifi adaptation I have in mind, so that meant there was potential I didn’t need to deal with the vagaries of greenscreen and could do the whole thing via CGI.  The price of motion capture has cratered since Avatar and it’s possible to do for thousands (even hundreds, if you have the patience/interest to create your own motion capture suit) what use to take 10’s of millions.

This brought Dream mid stove and the simmer started.  I still hesitated, though, because I find steep learning curves painful (boy, did learning to edit Treasure Hunt cause agony!).  Sure, it would be nice to get Dream done the way I envisioned, and I could see further potential to produce a proof-of-concept for the scifi adaptation I had in mind, but it looked like a huge effort for essentially no reasonable chance at financial reward.  While my decisions are not entirely driven by money, working for a living means I value my free time quite a bit, so I have to have a strong desire/interest in the goals that soak up my free time and was finding it challenging to come down on the side of investing months (or longer!) to become minimally competent using Blender.  That could wait for retirement (in 4 years, 5 months – but who’s counting).

And there it might have stayed until I happened to think to research how much animators, particularly 3D animators using Blender, can get paid.  Lo and behold, the potential exists to get paid more than my already inflated govt. salaries!  That put a totally different complexion on it.  Now the reward for powering through the learning curve could be an earlier still ‘retirement,’ not to mention the potential of getting paid very well once ‘retired,’ such that our retirement money could continue to grow rather than be strip mined for day-to-day existence.

My thoughts moved much faster since then, since the notion of being paid back in actual dollars for my investment of effort was quite enticing.  But I still struggled with motivation issues – which I choose to blame on my mysterious illness, though I know that’s at least partly a cop out – so didn’t get much more done than reading some tutorials.  But last Saturday I finally parked my ass in the chair and started using the software.

Yep, as painful as I thought.  It seems like every single key on the keyboard has at least one use, and most have several, depending on context.  So. Many. Things. To. Learn.  I spent around two hours trying to get the virtual camera to pan past the virtual cube lit by the virtual sun and render into a movie.  No such luck, though later in the day I do believe I figured out what I might be doing wrong.  Circumstances have meant I haven’t actually got back to it, but I do think I might have got to the point I’ll continue and, hopefully, get to the point I can put the computer to work doing the actual rendering.

I’ve started a new category on my blog called, cleverly, ‘Blender,’ where I will post on my learning process, along with the likely painfully crude and boring to watch renders.  Dream is still a long way off, but if I can get the architectural animations going, then I’m going to look into a DIY motion capture suit and then attempt to rope in an actor to see if I can make something people might actually find interesting to watch.  I think there’s a much more realistic chance I can get paid to make 3D animated shorts – such as commercials – since I have education and experience as a producer, writer and director, coupled with, I hope, my skills as an animator.  A different kind of dream…

Horror on Hiatus

So, the good news is I’m 90% likely to get a new job without any pause in compensation.  The bad news is my position has been cut.  Due to the uncertainty, I’ve put the Lily horror on indefinite hold.  It sucks, but such is life.

Assuming things work out cleanly on the job front (they do look good so far), my new arm-waving goal is to film in the August time frame.  Hopefully the cast and crew can still be available.

Before all this happened, I got feedback on my short version (20 pages) from my editor and, as usual, she was full of good suggestions.  Suggestions that actually had my fingertips itching to get at the keyboard.  Sadly, the whatever-ails-me crap robbed me of any initiative and I haven’t started to rework any of it.  The last few weeks I’ve been feeling better, even starting to exercise again (forcing me to accept my body has turned to total mush). Right now I’m attempting to corral myself to do the work on my latest billion-dollar idea to know if it has a chance or not.  Last weekend I actually did do something.  Not enough to know if it works, but enough to know I have to make tweaks to my approach, which I hope to have resolved by this weekend to take those steps.  I hope to get the rework started on the short version in the next month or two, but until the employment situation gets ironed out, there’s no real rush.

Sound in the Works

I finally managed to find someone interested in taking on the challenge of sound on Treasure Hunt who is a) willing to work for reel/credit b) follows through on his interest and c) actually does a good job (well, better than me, certainly).  He estimates 6 weeks, and I told him that was fine.

The one main thing left is colorizing.  Frankly, I don’t get it.  I agree, in principle, that changing the color tone can have an impact, but the subject doesn’t speak to me at all.  And that’s even before I struggle with the technical aspects.  Since no one has called out color as an issue, absent finding someone interested in taking the challenge for the same reel/credit (the sound editor said he’d ask his friends), I’m calling Treasure Hunt done once the sound is complete.  Then I’ll lock myself to my desk until I get the damn DVD authoring sorted out so I can finally get the crowdfunders paid back (I humbly thank them for their continued patience).

What comes next, I’m not sure.  I may try and get it on Amazon and/or advertise in Civil War related magazines/websites, perhaps trying to get some reviews by Civil War buffs.  I consider it an important part of the whole learning process, though that does mean I have to go back and track down the various locations and people I failed to get releases from and just thinking about that exhausts me.  I really wish I could find someone to be a producing partner…

A Long Time ACommin

OK, I’ve been doing a really crappy job of posting once a week.  Part of that is lack of inspiration, but a bulk is because of health issues.  I’m suffering from… got no idea, really.  Heart is find, lungs are fine, blood is fine.  Last week tested if my nerves were fine (should find out in a few days) and, if not rejected by my insurance company, I’ll find out if I have sleep apnea in a week.  Not that any of the doctors I’ve seen think any of these things have been potential problems, but because nothing they’ve tested as shown as positive.

Except for Epstein Barr Virus.  Even more fun?  My being positive to EBV is diagnostically meaningless, since 90% of the population are positive.  And, in any case, there’s not a damn thing that can be done anyway.  So I’m run down, have no energy (like going to the bathroom can wear me out and sometimes I need to take a nap from watching the TV), my thinking is often cloudy and muddled, which all serves to curtail any initiative to do, well, much of anything.

Despite this, some things have happened in the periods where I wasn’t too wiped out to do anything.  Sledgehammer has finished principle photography and the scenes John has cut together look amazing.

Inspired by a Reddit writing prompt, in January I’m going to begin principle photography for a 5-7 minute short – with exactly one actor – and a provocative title:

Title: Fuck Retirement

Logline: A retired contract killer is targeted for assassination by his young peers.


For retired contract killer Gator, the greatest game just turned out not to be that great. Sure, hunting humans was a lot more interesting than moose, boar or even bear – they can hunt back – but professionalism ensured his prey never really had a chance.

Ambivalent about retirement anyway, Gator’s life regains meaning when someone targets him for assassination. Dealing with a string of professional killers will make life a little more interesting. For a while, at least.

Getting old sucks, but experience counts for something. At what point will youth and enthusiasm counter old age and treachery?

At the constant nagging of John (which he is now denying), I’ve begun the process to formulate Lily’s Party into a 20-25 minute short that maybe, just maybe, can lead to interest in funding a feature-length version.  I’m leaning toward filming late May or early June, but have to get the boss to sign off on the budget first (all ‘deferred’ pay to the actors – which basically translates to no pay – so budget is mostly insurance, then food and gas money).

Based on her concept, I wrote a short (originally intended to be a horror, but morphed into a psychological thriller (at least I hope)) I expect to direct and edit as a reel builder for Ruby Garnet, an actress featured in John’s flick.

Treasure Hunt was supposedly short listed for best picture, but didn’t win.  Sadly, they’re so disorganized that even on their Facebook page it’s really difficult to find any information (I don’t FB, so got this second hand).  (Oh look, they finally updated their home page (though not any subsidiary pages).)  After some consideration and consultation, I’ve decided that adding their laurels to the flick’s IMDB page is just not worth the effort.  I did, by the way, learn how to get rid of those painfully blue skies from the day-for-night filming we did.  Still need to optimize the sound.  I finally found one piece of software that would let me make a properly formatted DVD (but not Bluray), though it’s quite crude.  I need to get the energy to muck with it long enough to find out if I can at least make it work for my intended purposes (basically, I want to put the trailer and outtakes on the disk menu – how hard should that be? (evidently really hard)), as I still owe my crowd funders disks (sorry, but I don’t think I’ll be able to get the Bluray’s to work) and posters (I have them printed, just need to mail them).

I’m still seriously considering re-imagining my dominatrix movies into a miniseries, but haven’t done much more than write the opening for the third.  I’m also seriously thinking of novelizing the series, which is absurd, in a way, since the whole concept started as a novel in the first place (but fizzled).  As if I don’t already have enough things to waste my time on, a novel editing friend and I have been discussing the notion of starting a book publishing company some time in the next few years and the whole idea behind RedDom in the first place was to have a novel easier to market than my first.

Domestique is still in the editing stage.  The editor sent me a rough cut a while ago (heck, maybe a month now) and I had some… issues with it.  We discussed them and he’s at work on a new cut.  I hope to see something before the end of the year, but it’s not like he doesn’t have a regular job and a life either, so it may be a bit.  I did finally manage to get the rough footage (all in 4K ‘log’ mode).  Had to get a new hard drive, mine doesn’t have the space, then format it to work on his Windows machine, then, of course, feel good enough to carry out the musical hard drives to get it to him then pick it up.  Haven’t loaded any into my editor yet.  Haven’t got past the activation energy to fix the log mode with the appropriate ‘lut’ (I barely understand what I just wrote) or working with the greenscreen, particularly after having seen the artifacts that the editor had in his initial rough cut.  I’m trying really hard to not think I just wasted $5K…

So, there you go.  TMI about why I’ve been DOA.  I’d like to say I can get back to less irregularly posting, but until/if the doctors find something fixable or I learn how to get by if this is the new normal, it may be just whenever I have the right combination of time and energy.

Oh and Three

Got my final rejection for my Dominatrix script.  The Virginia Film Office elected not to proceed.  Interestingly, the reader had some very supportive comments:

This is a story with great potential. The bones of it – a dominatrix that is the prime suspect in a number of murders and a detective that has an unorthodox relationship with the women that he once knew from his days working in Vice – is intriguing. There’s no doubt that it will capture interest.

However, very much like the man who did coverage for the script (second third here), they felt it had too many unnecessary scenes or scenes that should be trimmed by a great deal.  The reader ‘complained’ that I wasted too much time for a feature film that was burning through $100K per page.  That basically makes what I wrote an $11M feature, which is way more than I was expecting to spend.

When I forwarded the above to my movie making friend John, his basic response was “I told you so.”  And, somewhat repetitively, I replied with:

If I were trying to compete to write the next Hollywood blockbuster franchise, I’d probably be more inclined to listen … And, I suspect, never get anywhere, because that’s all about who you know and no one gives a damn about what you know. It’s more about you have 10 leads that, contractually, need to be on screen for X number of pages, so that ‘creativity’ is more about coming up with the least-bad story you can out of the pile of steaming contractual shit you’ve got to work with. Or, like Mission Impossible, the story that fits within the idiotic stunts they’ve already filmed.

And if I were in it simply to make money as a writer and really didn’t care about my story intent, I’d be more open minded to re-conceive the story to satisfy the generic audience. But, instead, I’m some dumbass that wants to tell a certain story (and then get paid to make it, of course), so really don’t give a damn when I get advice that goes against my intent. I can always create another story.

If I become successful (statistically a snowball’s chance in hell), then my sticktoitofness will, no doubt, be one of the reasons. But, most likely, I’ll do this for another 4 years, 7 months, never amount to anything, then content myself with holding boom for my friend John as he complains until we all go deaf and blind that if I’d only…

My idea of re-conceptualizing the trilogy of movies into a miniseries is probably just as dumb as anything else, but if I were driven by intellect instead of emotion, I’d be investing all my free time into a billion-dollar invention idea I’ve had since at least February, instead of pissing away my time on this nonsense.

Much Ado About Nothing, Or So It Seems

Nearly two weeks ago I was notified that Treasure Hunt was accepted into a festival.  In those two weeks, the festival has neither returned my emails or made any updates to their website.  As such, I have to assume it was either a scam to make money off credulous indie filmmakers or it’s being operated by total incompetents (really, is there a way to tell the difference?).  I may be surprised and they’ll suddenly emerge from the darkness, but I can’t see there being any value in getting excited even if that happens.  If the festival is so small that it can’t be competently managed, is it even worth telling anyone about?

On a only tangentially related matter, the festival notification did light a small fire under my butt to experiment with the day-for-night on the flick.  Since I know, biologically, most people see in black and white at night (rods vs cones, doanchano), I figured I’d try that and see what happened.  Well, it seems, actually getting my editor to make the footage black and white is a PITA.  However, I could reduce the saturation level to 1 (not zero, though) easily.  Then, after adjusting the brightness, I felt I was able to quickly achieve a look I could be happy with.  Those damn brilliant blue skies are gone and I feel it’s reasonable to think the scene is being illuminated by a bright full moon.

With that settled, now I have to learn how to adjust the audio levels.  There should be an equalizer plugin that I can use to ‘roll off’ the sounds that are above and below normal speech.  Then there should be a way to adjust the various audio (dialog, music and background) so they all fall in the ‘sweet spot’ where it’s easy to hear without being too loud or distorted.  Supposedly, there’s a way to do this in a semi-automatic way, so I don’t have to spend minutes on each sound clip (there are probably over a thousand), but that’ll require research and experimentation.

So, with that momentum, I aim to rework the feature as well as the trailer.  Then I’ll revisit the whole disk authoring debacle.  I think I’ll feel more motivated at that point, since I believe I’ll have a reason to think it’ll be feasible to try and find actual paying customers.  Timing, though, is probably early next year.  The day-for-night went quickly, but I expect the audio to take a lot longer (most of the movie isn’t day-for-night).