Poetic map

I decided, part way through the design process of the story, to have instructions on finding the treasure hidden in a poem instead of a conventional map with an ‘X’ on it.  It sounded like such a great idea, but now I’m tasked with coming up with poem-like prose (the instructions are in another poem, so, thankfully, don’t have to be perfect).  I’ve struggled with coming up with the proper words.  It needs to be obscure, but not so obscure that the clues can’t be solved.  It’s taken me a while (I’m moving much more slowly than I’d like, I’ve only got around 40 pages (8K words) written so far), but I’m starting to make progress.

Part of that progress has been actually working with a map.  With the help I mentioned earlier, I’ve got a map from the era when the land was originally settled (by Europeans, of course).  That map, coupled with many discussions with my consultants, has given me enough ideas to get about two thirds the lines I need.  I have ideas for the last third, just need to find ways to actually type when I sit in front of the computer with my hands on the keyboard.  If I hadn’t already shown that I can write, I’d have a serious crisis of conscious, but, fortunately, my massive ego shields me.

The Sketch that Started it all

Below is the character sketch I produced when I first got excited about the Diary of  a Contract Killer concept.  At first I intended nothing more than a few notes, but then thought to write it as if the character was talking to the reader (which did wind up in the final format (and continued for the series)).  I didn’t intend for it to run as long as it did (over 6.5K), but because it flowed so easily I gained the confidence that I could turn it into something readable.

You may notice that the tone changes somewhat (assuming you read the first couple of chapters I have online), as does the conceit that the stories are ghost written, but there are lots of the elements preserved.  I only lightly edited the prose, for instance to remove my patented runon sentences, so it’s pretty close to what I first wrote.  The few people I proudly showed it off to complained that there was no character arc, no growth, which is what caused me to elaborate on the the “Ziva” aspect and turn it into a love story.

A few chunks made it directly into the novel wholesale, but, for the most part, the information served as my own background for the character as I made creative decisions.  The other two books in the series reveal some additional parts of the sketch, so, conceptually, I probably have used it all.

Enjoy!

Diary of a Contract Killer

Keith Alan

Feb 13, 2015

This is a ghost written document, I’m not much of a writer. I found someone who I felt I could trust and to whom I could tell stories. He could then convert our conversations into prose. I did my best to not reveal anything specific regarding dates / times / targets / etc., and then asked my writer to take liberties to further obscure events. Because he has agreed to romanticize our conversations and invent dialog wherever he thinks appropriate, nothing that follows refers to actual people or events.

I grew up with parents in the foreign service. It seemed we were always moving and I got very practiced at learning new cultures and languages. I appear to have a gift for being able to hear accents and being able to reproduce them, and have often been told I sound more authentic than the people who actually grew up in the given environment. I’m also blessed with excellent memorization skills (very handy in school, let me tell you!) so I can quickly pick up enough of a language to pass in casual conversation. I’m not terribly fluent in a lot of languages, at least what I consider fluency (to be able to carry on a conversation for hours without any mistakes), but I know enough so I can generally move around pretty much anywhere an average white guy can go without attracting undue attention.

Regarding “average”: I’m specifically well suited for my job because I have pretty much dead average looks. I’m generally totally unmemorable and that works very well to my advantage. My general “disguise” is actually to make myself more distinctive in some way. That way, any description focuses on the distinctive element rather than my average-ness. Perhaps ironically, being average in school never was a problem for me; I was always the exotic outsider and attracted a lot of attention that I enjoyed.

My childhood was, other than having to remake friends every 18-24 months, very comfortable. My parents took very good care of me and I still see them regularly. I never burdened them with my source of income; I have a cover story (several, actually, but I’ll get to that later) that entails lots of international travel. They know about my facility with language, and, coupled with my direct experience growing up, they’re very comfortable with my cover.

I joined the military as a youth. I’d always been interested in guns and the idea of being a sniper, but due to our regular movements and the wildly different legal/cultural environments we experienced, I had very little direct involvement with them as a child. It turned out that I was pretty damn good at shooting from a distance, and had no problems getting accepted into sniper school. I did well, but not anything spectacular. I did excel, though, at the scouting aspect. The ability to get in and out unnoticed with my “intel.” That got me attention from the special forces recruiters (they only recruit from the “inside,” they never recruit from civilians) and when they found out about my language skills I had my pick. As a sniper, I actually had very few kills. Of course, the average sniper might spend a decade crawling in the bush and only shoot a handful of people, so again, that doesn’t make me stand out. I did get very popular, though, regarding my ability to blend in and become essentially invisible in plain sight. That allowed me to do all sorts of scouting in urban situations, to place bugs, to observe and report (I learned to read an entire newspaper or magazine by occasional glances while surveying the area; that way if anyone asked me about an article I could give cogent responses). I enjoyed the military training, but they really aren’t looking for cold-blooded killers, they want people who actually feel something when they kill. The average sniper either has to be convinced that the specific target is a bad guy or learns to demonize the target’s group. I guess this makes them easier to control, but it seems to me that these guys are more likely to suffer PTSD and wind up living under a bridge when they get home.

Getting Started

I learned I had no problems killing people before I joined the military. Of course I didn’t tell my recruiter that! I also learned early on that I was not moved by blood and guts. As a youth, I was very close when a bomb went off in a cafe and was first on the scene to help people. Of course, back then I wasn’t aware of the “double tap” procedure (where you set off a second bomb to take out the rescuers) or I never would’ve got that close, but it was a single bomb and I found myself very level headed and with clarity of thought. I helped people, who were clearly going to die, to be a wee bit less uncomfortable in the last few moments of their life. It was amazing to me how many actually seemed to relax just before the end; I guess shock helps with that. Anyway, a friend of mine at the time had a family friend who lost someone during that event. The mother of my friend evidently had some connection to some sort of intelligence organization and I overheard her talking about how they knew exactly who was responsible, but given that person’s lofty political position, there wasn’t enough evidence to lead to an arrest, let alone a trial or conviction. I guess I wasn’t thinking about the wider implications, I just said something to the effect about taking care of things outside the court system, which seemed to attract her attention. I have had several people remark about my “killer eyes” (I have no idea what that means) and perhaps she felt that looking at me and, likely on impulse, asked me how I would take care of it. I described what I had in mind and she said she’d think it over.

It was several days later when she engineered a bit of time for us to be alone in an area where we couldn’t be overheard. She asked me if I were really serious and would I go through with it. Sure, I said, what’s the big deal? She told me where to find the target, when would be good times and to go ahead. Thinking back, I should have been surprised or shocked, but I guess kids think they’re invulnerable; I recall no thoughts at all about being unsuccessful or having any problems.

The target (at one point I made up names for the targets but found out that, I guess through Freudian slips, I was leaking information, so stopped) regularly had an evening drink on the roof of his house (in this part of the world just about everyone has flat roofs; too hot during the day, but perfect in the evenings). Since I was a kid, and since Parkour was popular at the time, I’d developed a lot of skills in running, jumping, climbing, etc. and very easily made it up to the top of the several story building. I hid amongst the potted plants on the roof until it was quite dark. The target had been having a drink with dinner, something I’d planned on, and eventually, as it cooled off, decided to head down inside the house. This was exactly what I was waiting for and as he got up and headed toward the door, I moved quietly behind him, and when he started down the first step I jumped on his back and rode him head first down the stairwell. I made quite sure his head hit as he went forward and gave his neck a bit of a twist intending for his neck to snap. It went off without a hitch (I’ve since learned that was largely a matter of luck, but of course then I was sure it was pure skill), he never even twitched after he hit. I headed back the way I came, after making sure I hadn’t accidentally left any traces, and went about my normal evening activities. The news the next day remarked about how the target had had an accidental fall and how tragic it was his political career was over. My friend’s mother was very nice to me thereafter, though we never said another word about it.

I was a teenage punk at the time and thought I was superman for handling it. I’ve since realized how lucky I was, I had no fallback plans and didn’t appreciate the risk that I could have been discovered or seen getting in or out.

Reasonably Priced

Since I knew I was a “consciousless killing machine” before I joined the military, I’d already given thought to the idea of a career killing for money. My reason for going in the military and attempting to become a special forces sniper was to get exposure to how experts did it, and develop contacts (I have subsequently worked with my friend’s mother on some other jobs; there are so many benefits to having an excellent memory). I did my hitch and was in the process of getting out when I was approached by a couple of TLAs (we collectively call them “three letter acronyms” because so many have exactly three) about coming to work for them. Since I was intent on a career on my own, I was careful to make it seem that I was no longer interested in the ‘biz. I’ve worked with the TLAs since then, but always through intermediaries. One critical element I have is to be well at arm’s length from the client. I never want the client to think they can clean up loose ends by cleaning me up, so work to ensure they never know who I am. Nominally, I don’t know who my clients are either, though due to the nature of my business (so much being personal), I’m often able to figure out who has the most to gain and thus who my client likely is.

While hiring someone like me isn’t cheap, you might be surprised how inexpensive it is. I generally charge the equivalent of $100K a month, though add in any expected expenses as well as a premium based on the target specifics. I charge $50K just to evaluate the job. Only once the money is deposited (I have a rat’s nest of accounts I move money around, and some of the banks I use I’ve had professional relationships with giving me extra confidence that the money will never be traced back to me) do I even evaluate how much I will charge for the job. I find this eliminates those who aren’t serious. I’m totally fine with only working a few months out of the year, so happily pass on jobs where the client won’t adhere to my principles. Once I start to consider the job I do a lot of investigation on the target. Just because someone isn’t a household name doesn’t mean that they’re an easy target; I want to be damn sure of what I’m going up against before I commit. Sometimes the client is very specific about how they want the job done, which can have an impact on the cost. Either they specifically want it to look like an accident (about half the cases; I’m proud to note that about a third of my kills never even lead to an autopsy (not that that would have mattered)) or they are intent on sending a message and want a gorey visible kill. Occasionally they don’t care and I usually go with sniping, since I generally prefer to minimize the chance of the unexpected. So after I’ve evaluated the target, which often takes a week or more, I provide the client with a price. I’ve only had a couple of clients turn me down at this stage; generally if they have gone this far they are in it for the duration. I wait for the rest of the money to be paid (I always work with all the money paid up front, that way there’s even less chance that I become a “loose end”) then give them a cancel code (used exactly once) and tell them an approximate timetable. I never give absolute timetable because I always want to leave room for flexibility, but I generally give a 3-5 day window so the client can do whatever the client feels is necessary in preparation.

The biggest challenge I see in this business is being patiently alert at all times. The vast bulk of my time is spent waiting attentively. I believe I’ve mastered the art of looking totally absorbed in something (sometimes music, generally a book or magazine) while using all my faculties to observe the environment. Many of my peers in the military found this boring and would often get restless or careless. I never found it so; I’d be spending most of that time working through detailed scenarios in my mind for fall back positions, alternatives, what-ifs, etc. I haven’t been surprised very often; generally I’ve already worked out a counter scenario for any event I come across.

Exploding Bullet Theory

I once had this contract where the client wanted to scare the hell out of the target community (I’m 99% sure it was a government, not that I care that much). There was this group of rather vicious “wanna-be” drug lords who were making a name for themselves. The client figured that if something spectacularly gory happened to the 5 leaders the rest would simply abandon the enterprise. After some research, I figured the ideal situation would be if the leaders mysteriously exploded in very short order. Because of their chosen location, I had a very nice sniper location that gave me excellent coverage of their compound. I figured if I engineered a bullet that would make the target explode, I could take out the 5 from the same vantage point in less than a minute. If one or more got wise, I could fall back to plan B and take out their vehicles as they tried to get away.

The first part was to design a new bullet. For most of my long-range sniping I use the trusty 50 caliber round. The shell always makes me think of a banana, perhaps because of the brass color. Anyway, the 50 cal bullet is already a very formidable and deadly round, but I wanted something more, so worked on something that could deliver 100% of its kinetic energy into the target. I decided on a fragmenting round with a small amount of explosive in it. The bullet would maintain its shape as it flew through the air, so I wouldn’t have to relearn how to shoot it, but as soon as it hit something it would trigger the explosive which would cause the bullet to fragment into a couple of thousand pieces flying off in different directions. I lost a rifle testing the bullets; I initially had the explosive trigger too sensitive, but that’s why we test and test in a safe environment, eh? After a month or so of work I got the bullet such that if I hit a gallon jug of water the spot where the jug sat was just a bit damp, the jug and the water in it had vanished. A board put behind the target, meanwhile, had nothing but a few small fragment impacts, so it was quite feasible that someone could be behind the target and still survive with minimal injury.

Since I had already invested some time in scouting, I knew the target’s overall habits to a certain degree. I spent a few more days observing from my sniper post and listening to the bugs I’d planted in their working areas. After I was pretty sure I’d have the correct conditions, I hauled my rifle and the suppressing mechanism up to my selected location and set up. I was intending to hit them right after lunch; they had a regular meeting at that time and could be counted on to all be outdoors and walking toward the same location. My suppressing mechanism is a rather bulky thing, but it absorbs almost 100% of the muzzle flash (not so critical in this case, but a major issue when operating at night!) and swallows essentially the entire explosion of the fired round. While the bullet itself is supersonic (actually a couple of times the speed of sound) and therefore makes a racket as it travels through the air, because people tend to react to the closest location the round comes near them, it generally means no one ever looks toward the gun. Of course, I’m camouflaged as well, but it’s always best if no one ever looks at you.

When the time came I was ready. I could see where each target was going to exit their building and figured on taking the one that was least visible from the others first. I was relying on the average person not having the reflexes to immediately duck and cover when something unexpected happens and further, I was expecting the leaders to be even more reluctant to react and look foolish to their underlings, so I felt I had a good chance of taking them all out. I am happy to report that the gig went off pretty much without a hitch, though either one of the underlings got lucky in his wild fire or happened to be looking in exactly the right location when I fired, as I did take a few rounds in my direction. The results were quite spectacular. It looked exactly as if a small bomb had gone off inside each target. The underlings surrounding the targets literally got an eye and ear full of the target and while many of the underlings started to react, ducking and taking cover, the leaders, just like I expected, were too cool to do so and made very easy targets. The last one finally did start to move, as I believe he saw two of his compatriots get hit, but he moved in the exact direction I was herding him and once he crouched down (he even drew his gun, but was pointing in entirely the wrong direction), I popped him (literally) as well. I waited for the chaos to wind down, then made my way back to my vehicle and left the area. I never bothered to research to see if the group fell apart as my client expected, but I’m pretty sure I had the expected psychological impact and for sure any remaining people were a lot more cautious.

Relationships

Not that many people in my line of work have long-term stable relationships. It’s hard to protect loved ones when you come home to them every night; everyone makes mistakes and if you make a mistake coming home to one of dozens of locations that can be easily burned, it’s difficult for any pursuit to become problematic. However, if you have something at a single location, “home,” that’s near and dear to you, then you’re vulnerable. I always call my parents from other countries on burner phones (they expect me to be calling from an unfamiliar number; sadly it means they have plenty of experience hanging up on telemarketers) so it should be impossible to connect me to them. I don’t visit that often, and when I do I take elaborate measures to shake off any tails, change my look and ensure I’m not tagged with any bugs. Imagine if I had to go through that every night just to get home; how many times would I make a mistake over the course of a career? As a consequence, I haven’t formed any long-term relationships. I take my physical pleasure in an ad hoc manner. Generally, I prefer college girls. As a group, they seem quite open to one night stands and, at least in my experience, not clingy at all when I get up to leave. Even though I’m past college age (not that I ever actually attended), because of my average, everyman looks, I’m easy to mistake for being younger (or older) than I am with just changes in posture, cloths and the bare minimum of makeup. Usually, I slip into a college bar, observe for a while, then select an appropriately exotic accent for the area and start chatting with women who appear to be there for a pickup. Because of the nature of my job, I work very hard to stay in excellent shape, the kind of shape that also attracts the sort of attention I desire in these situations (on gigs I tend to wear baggy clothes and a strap around my gut so I look even more like an average white guy), so I generally don’t have to put in too much effort.

I’ve spent some time with peers, though those relationships don’t last either. One I remember in particular, I call her my “Ziva” (from NCIS). Easily as deadly as the one in the show and even more beautiful and sexy; her specialty is in getting guys to follow her around so she or her group can extract information from them. She and I cross paths from time to time and twice we had a chance to spend several days together between jobs. However, she’s a patriot and always feels obligated to get back to work (I’m self employed specifically so I can set my own “hours” and would cheerfully take an extra few weeks between jobs), so it doesn’t go on. Because our gigs tend to take quite a while (I often take weeks, sometimes months, on a gig) and we trot the globe, we don’t get a chance to hook up very often. And, due to the nature of our careers, we don’t make special efforts to arrange times (doing so creates a weakness that can be exploited; such is our life). I confess, though, that I often select women for liaisons because they physically remind me of my Ziva, though the thrill isn’t quite the same.

Spies vs Contract Killers

There is a big difference between spies and contract killers. As an outsider, you might reasonably think that we do the same thing, but spies are patriots and contract killers are decidedly not. While my reputation is extremely important to me, I’m not about to risk my life carrying out a contract, while spies risk their lives all the time. I think they’re crazy and many I know rarely seem to have a plan, just relying on their native skills, and as far as I can tell, luck. I like to have everything worked out ahead of time, though I feel I’m also good at improvising, but spies, at least most of the spies I’ve worked with, seem to feel that improvisation is the way to go.

Though I have known a couple of “James Bond” type spies that rush about always on the verge of disaster, yet always managing to salvage things at the last moment, generally they’re a little more cautious. I haven’t found any close to my level of detail, though. Perhaps that thought happens “back home” with the “higher ups” and the spies have a support system. Since the vast majority of the time I’m working totally alone, I can’t afford to be in situations where unexpected things happen. Do that often enough and the odds will certainly catch up. Without any sort of backup, you’re done.

Back when I was in the military and more properly could be called a spy (if you kill for “Queen and Country” and get a regular government paycheck, I guess you aren’t a contract killer) I often did have a backup I could call on if necessary, but I never felt the need to do so. Perhaps that’s why I sneer (only in my mind, of course, I would never express that openly; why make enemies for no reason?) on those who plan on needing the backup. I watch TV like the rest of the human species, though sometimes it’s difficult to keep up with my favorite shows as I run around the world (sometimes I just wait until the season comes out on DVD) and enjoy watching the spy shows and movies. Every now and again I get some inspiration, but a lot of the stuff is just silly. Of course, if someone tried to make a movie about how I actually do my job, I’m sure watching paint dry would be vastly more enjoyable. I like being detail oriented and enjoy what’s probably the tedious process of envisioning the multitude of what-ifs and building counter scenarios to adjust. I guess that’s what makes me good at my job.

This Might Surprise You

Slightly more than half of my contracts aren’t to kill anyone. As I mentioned before, I excel at hiding in plain sight and as such do make a good spy (notwithstanding the above; I am no patriot!). I’m often hired to plant bugs, to intimidate people (not the muscle bound “Guido” kneecapping intimidating, more psychological), to get information and a couple of times to kidnap people. I don’t care for kidnapping because I don’t like to get that physically intimate with a target (it leaves too many things to chance) but if the price is right I’m willing to take on the work. I’m generally hired for spy-type work when a government needs plausible deniability or a corporation wants something that requires a physical touch (they can hire Russian hackers if the work can be done remotely). I use only high-end products for bugs (I pass that cost onto my client) and specialize in bugging people who never know they’ve been bugged. Occasionally I’ll simply do an insert, meaning I take the client’s bugs and put them in, then that’s the end. The client may never retrieve them. When I put my own bugs in I almost always retrieve them; I don’t care to leave any signs of my activity. I have to know a great deal about locks, alarms, surveillance, etc., I probably could make a good living doing security consulting, but this is a lot more fun (and allows me to take several months of vacation each year).

Many Covers, Each with their own Fingerprints

As I mentioned before, I have several deep covers (I have dozens of passports and other IDs and plenty of different, legitimate, credit cards) that I work to maintain. Each cover has its own disguise and even has its own fingerprints! I would give each one its own DNA if I could figure out a reliable way to do so, but so far I have only had a small handful of DNA traces left, each in a different country and half with no obvious crime associated with it. I also have a number of covers that I use exclusively when on the job. These covers are also deep, but they’re specifically designed to be burned in the event I get caught up in any investigation. When I’m on a gig and ready to do the dirty deed I put on one of my “burner” covers, complete with the burner fingerprints. That’s paid off a couple of times, most noteworthy in my Murphy’s Law story outlined below.

My deep covers include jobs that have actual paychecks with actual companies (invariably the work is independent and requires a great deal of travel, a bit dangerous to have such a pattern, but any other sort of deep cover would be too difficult to maintain). This means, of course, that I have to show up for “work” from time to time. Even when I have a relationship with the owner, I still need to show up so the other employees have a memory of me that any investigator will be able to verify. One of the reasons why I only take a handful of gigs each year is that it takes time and effort to maintain my covers, generally a month or so a year. Foreign sales is generally the sort of “work” I take and it is generally quite trivial to actually engage in legitimate sales as I travel. I do, however, have a couple of “jobs” where I pay the company rather than the other way around. I still make myself visible to the other employees of the company, but the owner knows full-well that I’m not actually contributing anything. Each cover has different pluses and minuses associated with it and I’m always careful when I use them so they’re consistent.

Each of my deep covers (including my burners) have a specific disguise and set of fingerprints. It’s so nice to have my excellent memory to keep track of all of them, otherwise I’d have to have records somewhere making myself quite vulnerable. I make sure that my disguises are distinct enough so that if I’m in one I’m not mistaken for another. When I’m on a gig, I never use my own fingerprints, I always use a set of burners. Even when wearing gloves! I guess some might think all this effort is tedious, and sometimes it does feel so, but for the most part I enjoy the process. I trust it makes me so difficult to trace that even if someone catches on to my work my regular habits of switching identities will throw them off my tail even if I’m not aware of their interest.

Murphy’s law: “That That Can, Does”

The above level of caution once paid off in spectacular fashion. I was on a gig relatively early in my career when it seemed that everything that possibly could go wrong did. I was identified during my initial surveillance, spotted again when I hit the target, was pursued afterwards and was actually in police custody and interrogated for two days. It was a fairly simply gig: take out the target making it look like an accident. The target didn’t have any particularly special protection and wasn’t any more paranoid than anyone else in her position (I’m an equal opportunity killer, gender doesn’t matter ;-). I’m pretty sure I didn’t treat this job any different than any other, rather I think it was just bad luck. One reason I spent two days with the police was in an effort to try and understand what they knew and only after I felt sure that my capture was an accident did I move on (I keep a raft of lawyers on retainer for just such events, though in this case I was able to make do with the public defender assigned to me).

The job was to take out this female “captain of industry,” I guess one of her rivals (almost certainly male) felt vulnerable or whatever. I did my usual investigation prior to setting a price. As I was slipping out after planting my bugs, I was seen by several people in the building. I have no idea why they were there that late and while I had deliberately disguised myself as a janitor and had all the appropriate IDs, I’m always uncomfortable when I’m seen unexpectedly. One of the group came to ask me what I was doing in the boss’s office. I had had the forethought to have a bag of trash to display (I whipped some broken English on them; I made myself up to look Hispanic after all). The guy backtracked to the office as I was walking away, I guess to see if I had stolen something, but it was a sign of things to come.

After I took the job, I decided to have the accident look like food poisoning. The target was a “foodie” and was always trying something new. She was also a fan of sushi and was well known to prepare her own from time to time. I felt that she would be perfect to “accidently” try some Fugu, that deadly (if not prepared properly) puffer fish so popular in Japan (why people like to tempt fate, I don’t get; outside the military I have never jumped out of a perfectly good airplane). I knew she liked to experiment cooking on her own and felt quite sure that no one would question her being silly enough to try something like this on her own (like so many in her position, she had enormous ego). I get the fish, prepare it “wrong,” and slip into her place while she’s at work on a day I know (via my bugs) she’s planning on doing some kitchen experimenting. I mix the “wrong” fish in with some fish that looks the same (and contaminate some of the other fish for good measure) and get ready to leave. I’ve developed some in-depth skills with lock picking over the years and as a consequence generally don’t bother with keys, just use the picks (even on my own).

I was locking the deadbolt on my way out, after having reactivated the alarm, and had my back to the hallway. Someone came out of another apartment, saw me and thought I was breaking in and gave chase. Very noble of them, also incredibly stupid; what if I really was a desperate person and took them on. Anyway, I had no problem outdistancing them on foot, but they were clever enough to call 911. By the time I got to the lobby the cops were already rolling in. When I was doing my research the cops always took at least another 30 seconds to show up, more than enough time for me to get to a place I could take my disguise off (if I took it off while in the stairwell it would be obvious I was in disguise which would blow my cover of a common burglar). Since I had done extensive walk arounds, I knew intimately the surrounding roads, alleys, parks, etc., so took off toward the back, hoping the cops had responded to the front only. That supposition was only partly true. As I exited the rear of the building a car was pulling in the alley. I felt confident I could beat these guys on foot, so took off the other way toward a park. It’s harder to hide in a park in the middle of the day, but I felt that there would be enough people to blend in with. Surprisingly, one of the cops turned out to be an Olympic sprinter (well, it sure seemed that way as he gained on me!) and was hot on my heels as I headed into the park. I didn’t want to get physical with the cops, nothing sets a town on edge like a cop getting roughed up or killed, so I started to think that the better course of action was to get caught.

I allowed the cop to catch up with me and he did what I hoped he would and Tasered me. Of course, that meant I got bashed in the face when I went down and had the “joyful” experience of those amazingly painful cramps, but I was careful to hide my grin. By that time I had tossed my professional lock picks and only had the crude ones you might expect to find on a common burglar.

While I didn’t pass out, I did make like I was totally incapacitated. They stuck me in the back of a car and drove me back to the building and had the witness ID me. Then they took me to the station and booked me. After dumping me in a holding cell, I got a chance to relax for a while. It was a couple of hours later when they took me for interrogation and now I was curious to know if my cover would hold up. My skin was darkened along with my hair, of course I spoke with a thick Hispanic accent (and was fluent in Spanish when they brought in an interpreter) and the fingerprints I had matched up exactly with someone in their system that looked exactly like me. At first I denied that I was in the building and tried to make out like I was unreasonably attacked in the park. Then “reluctantly” agreed that I had actually been in the building, but wasn’t trying to break in, just innocently walking down the hallway. But when pressed, I eventually “gave in” and admitted I was trying to break in. As I had observed the place quite a bit, I knew that the rear entrance wasn’t properly guarded. And since they had lots of expensive residents in the building, they actually had minimal cameras once you got out of the lobby. Thus I fed them a line about how I had seen the back entrance open, so decided to try my hand to see if could steal something.

They read me my rights after they Tasered me and stuck me in the car, and I knew that as soon as any competent lawyer heard that I’d be out on the street with all charges dropped. I just wanted to be sure that they were sure I was just an incompetent burglar before I left. I spent the night in jail with some drunks and petty thieves. I kept largely to myself; I’ve mastered the ability to look intimidating when I need to; I only had to do so once to be left to my own devices. The had some news channel on the TV outside our cell and I was able to verify that my target was taken out when it came on the news. One small concern I had was that she would have a group of people over (my bugs indicated not, but people change their minds all the time) and there would be collateral damage, but this wasn’t the case, it was totally clean. I wanted to give some time to see if the cops ever associated her death with my presence, so stayed another day. The morning of the second day I “thought” to ask for a lawyer and in a few hours was telling my story to a public defender and sure enough, once she heard that my rights were read to me when I was “incapacitated” from the Taser, I was out in a couple of hours, all charges dropped.

It’s because of things like this that I engage in these elaborate layers of covers. I was able to get off, despite being essentially caught in the act, because of prior preparation. No one else got hurt or killed, the job went off without a hitch and no one knows I was involved. Despite seemingly everything going wrong, it was still a near perfect job. Yes, I took extra precautions after that, but I went over all the steps in my mind and felt sure I wasn’t being lazy or taking shortcuts. Just had a bit of bad luck.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I hope to share more with you in the future. My writer friend will probably take a bit more control over the content and it will read less like an instruction manual.

Treasure Hunt Poster and Research

I’ve been working, once again, with Daria Brennan, at http://beegraphica.com/, to develop a poster to give a visual idea of the vibe I’m hoping to go with for the movie. Here’s what she came up with (click on the image to get a larger version):

 

I’ve asked her to add “Inspired by Legends” to create more of a hook.

Last weekend (hard to believe it’s only been a week) I contacted a lady who has done extensive research into the Civil War in general, and the Shenandoah Valley in particular. She’s snowed me under with responses (more than 32 emails so far), with so much detail that I’m actually worried about tying my script too close to reality and triggering knuckleheads running around digging holes all over the Valley. I’ve called her ‘amazing’ but that seemed inadequate, so I just Googled synonyms and came up with these:

astonishing, astounding, surprising, stunning, staggering, shocking, startling, stupefying, breathtaking; awesome, awe-inspiring, sensational, remarkable, spectacular, stupendous, phenomenal, extraordinary, incredible, unbelievable; mind-blowing, jaw-dropping; wondrous

All of those words also feel inadequate, singly, in pairs or even en masse. Now I feel even more pressure to develop my script to try and live up to her efforts. I did manage to start writing last Sunday, cranked out a whole 1K words, then her feedback started to trickle (deluge) in and I got lost in learning about history. I’m fortunate she understands that only a tiny fraction of what she’s offered can make it into the script, but I have a real challenge picking a choosing what elements to put in. I don’t want to create a history lecture, but I’d like to put as much actual events into the script as possible. I’ve learned a few ‘tricks’ to making an infodump palatable, and intend to put them all to work in this case, but it will be a challenge to create a captivating screenplay that’s nonetheless educational and (largely) truthful.

I’ve been reading a small pile of books on storytelling for movies, directing actors, working with nano budgets, etc. and am now torn. A strategy I really like, and one I intend to follow if I carry this to the next level and start a production company, is to use social media to test the waters of a movie idea before it’s been filmed, or, indeed, the script has been written. The idea is twofold: first, to test a marketing concept and see if it actually reached the target audience, and that audience is large enough to profitably pay for the movie. Second, to use that success (if it fails, either rework the marketing or move to another project) to approach investors to pay for the production. I’d dearly love to pay my cast and crew, and, further, to film it in a couple of weeks instead of on weekends spread over months. But there’s no way I can afford that now, and I’m reluctant to dilute my already diluted focus (I still have a regular job, still need to be a present husband and father, not to mention exercise this blubbery body) and drag this project out longer than I expect to already take.

On the other hand, I’m really starting to feel that it’ll be possible to generate enough interest to make some money ‘four walling‘ and marketing directly to the local area. Not to mention marketing directly toward Civil War enthusiasts. Heck, I was envisioning setting up a table in the theater lobby selling DVDs, soundtracks (a very good friend is going to put me in touch with a young composer who might be willing to work for the exposure), T shirts, etc. as a way to make a few more bucks above and beyond any ticket sales. I’m also looking into local and regional film festivals and researching those related to the Civil War. All these feel like very viable and realistic ways to make some money, though how much I can’t really get a feel for. And, with the idea of making ‘real’ money, paying cast and crew feels like something I should do.

Though I’ve researched deferring compensation for cast and crew, after reading extensively about it, the conclusion I’ve got is it’s not fair to everyone involved. If the chance of making money is a gamble, it’s cleaner to just be up front with the cast and crew and let them know that reel (and beer and pizza) is it. Besides, it might realistically take years before (if) a movie starts to make money, particularly if it has to slowly build interest.  And my investor needs to be paid back as well; deferred compensation happens before investor compensation and can really make that complicated.  While the cast and crew would be putting in lots of hours, I’ll probably have a couple of thousand hours in it by the time it’s something anyone would want to watch, and I feel me getting a few thousand dollars will make it a lot more likely that I’ll have the motivation to take on the challenge of a fully-funded movie, whereas if it took years to dribble in the deferred compensation to cast and crew, I might lose interest.  Of course, anyone can get struck by lightening, but I think the balance of probability is very much in favor with the movie being lucky to earn back it’s (nano) budget.

But I do dream…

My Directing Style

Or, rather, I should say, the style I intend as I become and grow as a director.  I feel a movie is made (or screwed up) five times: when the script is written, when it’s directed, as it’s filmed and acted and when it’s edited.  Since my intention is to direct what I write, I feel it’s incumbent on me to give extra space for the other elements, and intend to act more as a guide while directing, rather than as a task master.

The script is but one vision of the film. The one I have as I labor creating imagery I feel will be interesting and entertaining.  Writing is a lonely thing, so the images I have are, necessarily, myopic.  I do ask for feedback from people I trust, so get some help with some of the images, but the bulk are mine.  Sometimes they come easy, other times it may take days, or even weeks, to develop.  But I view them as a starting point, not an end in and of itself.  The script, as written, is intended to entice producers, investors, cast and crew to sign on, but once the team has been assembled, I lose ownership of the script and it becomes property of the team.

Since I had a clear goal for each scene and each character, it’s easy for me to reflexively say, this or that is ‘correct’ while the other thing is ‘wrong.’  Please ignore that.  I’m a born asshole and have a rude and unfortunate knee jerk (emphasis on ‘jerk;’ just ask my wife) response to things that don’t fit in my world view.  However, my goal is to build a team that, individually and collectively, are smarter and better at their jobs than I could ever be, so please call me out when I’m being an asshole and telling you how to do your job.  While I would like to capture a take close to my original vision, I also want to have lots of material for the editor, and fully believe that the scene I originally envisioned can be made better by others.  This is why I’m starting down this path as a director, to have the joy in serendipity, when the smarter-than-me cast and crew take my scripted raw material and make something far better than I originally envisioned.

From a cinematography point of view, I favor the idea of getting coverage by having multiple cameras running with each take.  While there will certainly be times when the cinematographer and/or editor feel shots are needed that preclude this possibility, I feel the actors can give a more authentic performance when they’re playing off each other.  Hopefully, I can find a DP that will share my vision.  But I intend to hire a DP that’s much smarter than I am (which shouldn’t be that high a bar; though I understand the physics of what’s going on and have studied integrated circuit fabrication, have some understanding of optics and studied glamor photography in some depth, I don’t pretend to be a cinematographer any more than I pretend to be an actor or editor), so will yield to the DP’s expertise.

I’ve read about acting and intend to be an actor friendly director, but I don’t have the guts to be one.  That doesn’t mean I won’t demand the actor do their job, and I expect them to internalize the character such that they don’t have to recite their lines, the dialog flows naturally from the interactions.  My intent is to minimize rehearsals, beyond blocking, because I want each take to be fresh and spontaneous.  I want the actors to interpret the characters, to own them.  While each scene can be done any number of ways, and I would like to see them all, there’s a timetable that needs to be adhered to.  Having said that, it takes much longer to set up for a scene than to shoot it, so I want to spend extra time capturing any favored alternative interpretations the actors have for each scene.

These extra interpretations are fodder for the editor, the last chance to salvage (or ruin) the movie.  My intention is to begin working with the editor before production and with the DP, to discuss options before schedules are set in stone.  I would like to have the editor working with material as it’s being made, so they can identify any missing pieces when it costs almost nothing to fill them in.

I view being a director like being a dungeon master in a role playing game: I create the world and the set pieces, the players (cast and crew) bring the game to life with their choices and interactions.  Making a movie is a partnership and everyone involved contributes to the completed result.

My qualifications as a director

This post is intended to show how my eclectic background makes me an ideal candidate as a writer/director.

Though a biochemist by education and experience, my efforts to turn toward biotech management after I got my MBA were thwarted by events and I turned to programming. I’m almost exclusively self-taught in programming and information security, something that’s lead to a career of more than 20 years.

Using knowledge gleaned from hundreds of sources, I designed, and my wife and I built, a 2,600 sqft house. Then, with an engineer, I designed, and my wife and I built most of, a 5,000 sqft indoor pool / greenhouse with a pavilion that serves as an additional kitchen.

These two elements demonstrate that I can successfully take on long-term, complex projects based on book learning. Switching careers to programming, after investing a decade into biotechnology, also shows that I can quickly adapt to changing circumstances.

I’ve been a manager at several levels, in IT and in manufacturing. My IT career started “backwards” with project management. Programmers, as a group, have an artistic temperament, in that they’re often driven by creative energies and usually have to be cajoled rather than instructed. I believe this experience will help me in pre-production, working with cast and crew during filming and in post-production.

While I’m always open to advice and suggestions – my intent is to make as good a product as I can – I understand that “the buck stops here,” and easily make decisions. Once made, I won’t consider altering my decision unless events change or someone convinces me of a superior approach.

I enjoy collaboration and am quick to include others input and to recognize them, but also understand that some decisions develop momentum and can’t be changed without incurring significant expenses.

As a testament to my creative ability, I have three novels, a novella and a series of short stories, as well as the several scripts I’ve created (two are adaptations of my prose). While I have very clear ideas of what I want for a scene, I also believe in serendipity and want input of cast and crew with each take. My intention is to capture my original intent for the scene, then ask the cast and crew for improvisation to provide the editing process with maximal raw material.

I’ve studied movie making and understand that it’s on par with watching paint dry or grass grow. I look forward to the challenge of working within constrained resources; one of my programming areas of interest is problems that exceed the hardware capabilities and how to achieve success despite the limitations.

With a very strong background in IT and information security, I bring lots of embedded knowledge necessary for modern digital film making. At an instinctive level, I’m aware of the vulnerable nature of the data, how important backups are, and keeping the backups separate and secure.

My business education has given me the tools to evaluate and manage budgets, to establish critical paths and track dependencies. I understand the goals of the producer and am very sympathetic to the need to satisfy investors.

Though patience is not my strong suit, I understand projects like these can take many years. I’m persistent, and will circle back to stalled projects from time to time to see if circumstances have changed.

I believe I have a lot of the necessary requirements to be an effective director and feel, if teamed with an experienced crew, any deficiencies can be caught early enough they won’t impact the time line or budget. As a beginning director, I’m also prepared to be flexible and tie some compensation to investor success.

Trez You

I usually shorten my titles, I shortened this one to TreasHu and hear it in my mind as Trez You.

“Treasure Hunt” is the name I’ve come up with for my directorial debut.  It may also be my last movie, only time will tell.  My goal with this is to film it with a ‘nano’ budget of just a couple of thousand dollars, over weekends, with a cast and crew paid via reel, beer and pizza (and the lure of an indoor pool).

I plan to document my trials and tribulations, along with, I hope, my successes, so be sure to check back here if you’re interested in following the adventure.

I’m hoping to write the screenplay such that each 10-20 minute portion can be viewed as if an episode in a TV show, while the feature length (my target is around 100 minutes) can be successfully viewed as a coherent whole.

As I write this, I have a couple of page synopsis written. My intention is to, very soon, begin fleshing that out into the full screenplay.  My tentative timeline is to begin filming this summer (2018) and finishing this fall.

If you’d like to participate in some way, feel free to contact me.

Blurb me, baby!

I’ve been told I have some facility with writing blurbs.  However, since mine tend to run long, perhaps I can only help others.  You can judge for yourself by clicking on the titles on the left-hand side of my home page.

When I’ve helped people with their blurbs and synopsis, what I’ve found that seems to work the best is for them to get angry.  Yup, get pissed.  I’ve back-and-forthed with a couple of authors, trying to help them, and they get more and more frustrated because I don’t ‘get it.’  Finally, they’ll rattle off a series of one or two sentence bullet points summarizing their story.  Guess what?  That summary is exactly what needs to be in the blurb and synopsis!

By the by, though there are huge overlaps, there is a distinct difference between a blurb and a synopsis.  The blurb is the teaser that goes on the back of the book, that’s supposed to incentivize the reader to purchase the book.  The synopsis is to tell the agent/publisher/bookseller what the story is about, so they can judge if yours is new/interesting/different enough to want to represent/carry.  Blurbs NEVER contain ending spoilers, synopses (the plural of synopsis, according to dictionary.com via Google) ALWAYS contain spoilers.  Snyopses tend to run longer than blurbs, but there can be a lot of variety, as it depends on the audience.  Blurbs generally should run 100-150 words and this really is a case where less is more.  Synopses are expected to run between 500-800 words.

The concepts behind writing your blurb and synopsis are the same, just blurbs get fewer words and don’t spoil the ending, while synopses get more words and spoil the ending.  You can use the exact same mental process.

You need to introduce your main character, but if you have more than one it can get tricky as too many characters will confuse readers.

You need to outline the stakes.  What’s motivating the character to accomplish great things.  Their main goal.

Finally, you need to list the obstacles keeping the character from achieving that goal.

Simple, eh?  Of course not. You’ve lovingly devoted months, if not years, to your epic story, how can you possibly trim all that beauty down to a few sentences, yet still be interesting, entertaining and unique?  This is why I now write backwards.  Here, I’m assuming you’ve already written your novel and are stuck with trying to create an engaging blurb and synopsis.

This is why I advocate the ‘get angry’ method of blurb writing.  Very quickly, as if communicating with dense old me who simply is not getting your story, list out 4-6 bullet points of why your story is unique, what sets it apart from all the others and why readers should pick yours.  Surely you had these reasons floating around in your head when you started writing.  I’m positive you didn’t sit down with the idea of writing a clone of some story you’ve already read.  You wanted yours to be different somehow.  That’s what I’m looking for.

These bullet points should be your starting point.  You still need to introduce your character.  Not their backstory!  You don’t even need to supply their last name, sex or age, but they need a handle.  Don’t clutter your blurb with other names unless they’re critical to the story, and never name a character mentioned only once.  Use function names.  For example, the wicked witch of the West doesn’t need a name unless she shows up more than once (in the blurb or synopsis, of course).

Never do an info dump in your blurb or synopsis.  Exactly like writing your novel, only supply information when it’s necessary to move the plot forward.  And not a moment sooner.  Trust your readers. Trust that they care enough to remember something is missing.

Get those stakes in there, we need to know why the character is in the story.  Then put in the obstacles.  If it’s effortless for the character to achieve their goals, then you pretty much don’t have any story.  How long does it take for someone to describe their idyllic vacation, where all the food was great, no mosquitoes, their significant others got along, etc.?  About twenty seconds, right?  But those nightmare vacations, those are the ones people want to hear about.  The worst to experience have the best stories, right?  If your character’s experiences were like the idyllic vacation, you might not have a novel anyone will want to read.

Once you have all that raw material, now comes the ‘fun’ part: condensing it to 100-150 words.  Don’t obsess with getting it under 150 words, but if you have 350+ you have too much.  Each word needs to convey excitement to the reader, there can be nothing extraneous.  If brevity is not your strong suit, then you might want to ask for help, once you’ve got all the critical information from the above exercises.  Goodreads has a place; I’m sure there are others on the ‘net.

What about the synopsis, you ask.  Well, you use the exact same raw material, but you spoil the ending.  A good synopsis will engage the reader (generally the agent and/or publisher and sometimes the bookseller if you make it that far through the process), but they understand those are difficult to write.  They’ll give you a little slack. But you get no slack for your blurb.  Sure, word of mouth is great, and if you’re lucky enough to get that, you’re off to the races. But in the beginning, you have to convince people with your blurb.  When you’re looking at books, how long to you give each one?  Ten seconds?  Five?  Your blurb has to grab the reader that fast and keep them interested enough to want to read the rest, which has to be interesting enough to make them want to take it home.  If you can write your synopsis the same way, then you’re grabbing the agent/publisher (bookseller) the same way as you would the actual reader.

Having said all that, screening out readers who won’t like your story is just as important as teasing the interested ones.  I learned that the hard way with my first.  I mistakenly thought of it as a romance (yes, it is a love story, but it violates more romance tropes than it satisfies) and wrote the blurb to attract those readers.  Boy did I have some pissed off readers!  Fortunately, these were beta readers, not paying customers, so no one star reviews reviling my story.

If you go with my ‘get angry’ process, you should have all the necessary raw material for a compelling blurb and synopsis.  Polish to perfection.  If you find you’ve got too many words, ask for some help.  Sometimes we fall so in love with our prose we can’t see how little information we’re conveying.  Blurbs and synopses are a true case where less is more.

A note on white space.  I’ve read in many places, and noted it myself reading other people’s blurbs, that long paragraphs are hard to read.  For your blurb in particular, you want your paragraphs to be no more than 2-3 sentences, 4 at the most.  And short punchy sentences!  The additional whitespace lets the reader digest smaller bits at a time and lets them read more, since they’re only committing to a couple more sentences.  The more they read, the more likely they are to buy the book.  Make it as easy as possible for them to read by having short, interesting, informative sentences.

Good luck!  Don’t despair if you struggle; I spent more time on my blurb than I did on my first draft.

Writing Backwards

What?  Backwards?

What I mean is, instead of writing a novel (or, for me now, screenplays) and then trying to condense my 70+K pile of words into 500-800 word synopsis, then a 100-150 word blurb and finally a 10-25 word logline (less important for novels, but critical for screenplays), I start the other way around.

I’m sure that most, if not all, first time authors simply start writing.  The more plotter oriented (vs pantser) will have outlined their story, but basically, assuming you actually are a writer, you’re going to write just to find out if you can.

The problem then becomes condensing.  You started writing for a reason, you had a story to tell, something that caused your fingers to itch.  But now that all got lost in your wonderful prose,  your charming characters, your clever plots.  You’ve lost sight of why you started writing, so distilling your pile of prose to a simple coherent summary is hard.  I’m positive I spent way more time on my blurb and synopsis than I did writing the first draft.  I decided: never again!

So now, when all I have is the gist, that kernel of an idea I want to blow up into a pile of prose, that’s when I create my summaries.  I make notes about what’s important for the story, the elements of the plot and characterization I think make it unique and worth investing time, the critical reveals, sometimes even dialog.  I turn that into a blurb, logline and synopsis first, and only then start writing.

This doesn’t mean you can’t change.  Never think of them as a straight jacket, but if you decide you want your cozy mystery to morph into a scifi first contact, you should, then and there, update your blurb, logline and synopsis with the reasons why.

Does this make me a plotter?  Well, to a certain degree.  But I always knew the ending before I started writing any of my stories.  And I usually wrote the ending fairly early in the process.  Sometimes the ending morphed as I wrote the body of the story, but usually the ending was what drove the structure of the body to begin with.

Now, if you’re writing for your own enjoyment and never intend to show it to more than a handful of friends, no worries.  Go with what works.  But if you intend to show your baby to the world in an effort to get paid, you’ll need a blurb at an absolute minimum, one that captures the essence of your story, grips the reader and forces them to buy and read.  I feel that’s much easier to do if you start that process first, rather than last.

Atomic Blonde

I recently watched the movie Atomic Blonde. What I particularly liked about the movie was how the protagonist actually carried her injuries along with her for the duration.  Much like how in the Bourne series the MC stays injured (even across films!).  So many characters are so super human, after all the damage, they pop up unscathed movements later.  While I can certainly enjoy escapism (though I prefer the Craig Bond over the old-school), things that are more gritty and realistic appeal more to me.  For instance, I like Reservoir Dogs and Chinatown because of that element.

The movie also had a very eclectic visual pallet, though I found it jarring a time or two.  For instance, the TV in the MC’s hotel always had these glaring lights on it.  The music was great, as it reminded me a lot of my youth.  With the appropriate fogging effects of time, I can look back at the era (late 80’s) with nostalgia.

This may be considered a spoiler, if you haven’t seen the flick. Stop here if you want to watch it pristine.  I’ve been studying screenplay writing with the idea of becoming a director at some point (I’ve finally decided to get off the fence and intend to direct a feature on my own nano budget later this fall; I’ll try and remember to update this with a link when it’s gelled more) and occasionally, when I watch a movie, I’ll think about a particular scene, how it was filmed, how the script would have to be written to convey the imagery, that sort of thing.  I felt it was harmless.

Well, I had a disturbing revelation during the lesbian sex scene: I couldn’t relax and enjoy it, I kept focusing on camera placement, what the actresses were doing, the very interesting choice to use mirror-like surfaces to double the view, that sort of thing.  I felt violated, in a way, that I couldn’t just be in the scene (if you can’t guess, this sort of thing is a big turn on to me).  I really hope that the more I get into screenplays and directing I don’t lose what attracted me to it in the first place: the joy in watching movies.

I’ve been beta reading a lot over the last year, but I easily partition that reading because I do it on my computer and read for entertainment with the dead-tree versions.  Maybe I’ll have to watch movies for learning on the computer as well, as a way to try and keep my watching compartmented.

Something else disturbed me, but as a ‘refrigerator moment‘.  I felt there was too much grunting and yelling going on during the fight scenes.  While I suppose unskilled fighters would make a racket to attempt to be intimidating, I would imagine (indeed, that’s exactly how I did my character in my first novel) that skilled fighters would minimize the racket they make, as they don’t want to give away their positions.  I imagine spies as being particularly resistant to making noises as they kill people.  It didn’t jar me out of the movie, it’s pretty much the only way those sorts of scenes are filmed (I like the Bourne fight scenes so much because they are silent and deadly), but when I later thought about how I would do something like that I’d rather have my fighters be largely silent.

If you like realistic action/adventure, I highly recommend this one.

Why Mitusents?

Why did I choose my blog name? Well, I really don’t feel I have much to add to the manifold sources of information that can be found on the web.  Indeed, I debated a long time about even the idea of a blog on writing, as I really didn’t feel I had anything to offer.

Then I realized how much I benefited by finding different expressions on the same topics.  By having the diversity of viewpoints, I felt I could better internalize the important aspects of the topics.  So, particularly since I love to write and give advice, I’d focus on that aspect for my blog.  I’m adding my two cents to what’s already out there.  If someone thinks my viewpoints are helpful, then the blog has accomplished my goal for it.