I tried quite a while to find a dominatrix I could interview for my novel idea “The Dominatrix Wore Red,” but was having lots of problems finding one that would work within my budget (that would be zero, in this case). I wasn’t able to connect with the woman who created the ad, unfortunately, and all the others that responded wanted some amount of money. I got very lucky and connected with a local dominatrix who agreed to meet me in her dungeon, in mid Sept ’17, and answer my questions. She asked me not to use her name. Here are my notes from our conversation:
The Mistress works out of a high-end condo, in a high-end DC neighborhood, but very ‘cozy,’ at 750 sqft (and a grand a square foot). She had heavy curtains over the windows, completely blocking out any of the light, and the lights were dim. She had some jazz-type music going, a bit louder than I’d like, requiring me to speak louder than I would normally. The windows faced south, so probably would make the place quite warm without them. When I was there, her AC unit seemed to be on the fritz, though it had only warmed to 75.
Very clean, smelled fine (meaning, no smell), ambiance was neutral, beyond the restraints, of course. The kitchen peninsula (seating area to one side, with dark granite counter tops) had a couple of nook-type cabinets, some holding things like dildoes, other holding whips and chains. Very organized. She said she cleans everything with a germicidal compound after every session and even autoclaved some of the tools/toys.
Nominally, the place is two bedrooms, though one was the size of a medium-sized walk-in closet. The other would fit a king-sized bed, though little else. The larger had its own bathroom. The living/dining area, maybe 12×12, had several restraint systems around the periphery. The center of the room with what was basically a massage table.
The smaller bedroom was made up to be like a doctor’s office, complete with skeleton. I guess some people are into being restrained on the exam table.
The larger bedroom was the most normal. She said it was her consulting room, though she often would have her subs sit on the floor. It had a futon, where I sat for the interview, and was her personal space, meaning she didn’t let her clients there without her being present. Her small walk-in closet was full of costumes, she showed me a couple. She had a number of corsets, some of which cost several hundred dollars. And lots of leather and latex. She had a number of spiked high heels, one pair of leather boots she said cost several hundred. Clearly she had a whole lot invested in this, beyond the expensive condo.
She said she had a suspension rig she could put together quickly, and when I wondered about how much effort it would take to put it to use, she insisted it was easy to set up and didn’t take up much floor space.
She said that the US made restraint furniture wasn’t worth the price, and usually bought from European suppliers.
The payment is referred to as ‘tribute,’ which amused me. And she often gets extravagant gifts. Indeed, a friend of hers was so intrigued by the gifts, the friend became a sugar baby.
While most of her clients are wealthy, not all are. She does, though, rarely give any sort of discount. She minimizes any sort of fluid exchange, and feels a number of her clients chose her for that reason.
The Mistress has trademarked her professional name, and has been aggressive about going after infringers. She’s been married to her high-school sweetheart for, I believe she said, 34 years, which I calculate puts her at 51 (she said they met when she was 17). Her husband is completely comfortable with her work. They live in Virginia, and she commutes around 90 minutes one-way.
While she kept the place dark, I was able to see her face ‘had some miles on it,’ but I still feel she’s attractive. Her body still looks good. She was wearing blonde hair, and, based on her eyebrows, I commented I figured she was a natural. She replied that she was more of a dirty-blonde (no pun intended) now, and lightened her hair with highlights.
Most (92-93%) of her clients are men, 5% are couples, and 2-3% are women. Sometimes the couples are both subs, but often one or the other is being trained as a dom for the other partner. She charges $300 an hour (but discounts two hours to $500) and has only raised her rates $50/hr since she bought the condo in ’05. I suggested she was leaving money on the table. She didn’t dispute that, but said something along the line of maximizing income was a balancing act. Higher hourly rate resulted in fewer hours, and she’s been happy with the rate she’s been charging.
She’s a major force in the DC area ‘prodom’ scene, and commented when she raised her rate, many other doms followed suit. She rarely travels for work any longer, but used to do that when she was younger.
She has done professional modeling and her images have been used on book covers.
She’s been in the ‘pro dom’ business (as opposed to the ‘lifestyle’ doms, who do it just for fun) since 1998, but doing it full-time for 17 years. Her early careers were in computers and graphics.
Except for some minor physical differences (she is blonde and not quite as ‘hippy’ as I envision my character), I feel she’s intellectually a perfect match for the character I envisioned. While ‘my’ dom has a PhD, she said that wasn’t unheard of at all, and she knows several. She also knows several who have anthropology background. One woman she knows, but not as a dom, was a stripper for her PhD thesis, then later wrote a book about the experiences.
As far as my novel is concerned, I feel she completely validated everything I’ve written.