In a Funk

Halfway through filming, but barely started editing.  Why? I’m not sure. My birthday is coming up, and they always depress me (another year older and deeper in debt no closer achieving any of my goals (beyond getting my trophy wife, of course)).  I had some technical issues: my brand spankin new computer wouldn’t read the SD cards we record the video/audio on, which was only resolved with my wife’s genius suggestion of not using the built-in reader, but a USB adapter instead.  But beyond annoying (really annoying! I. Hate. Computers.  I hate even more that that’s how I make a living!), no real reason why I should be depressed.  Yes, I was down in the dumps after our second weekend of filming, but by the time I finally started editing end of last week I actually felt really good about the imagery captured.

It could be the normal wishy washy nature of my ‘moods’ (I consider myself mildly bipolar, or dealing with cyclothymia, as a friend educated me about yesterday) and it’s a ‘this too shall pass’ sort of thing, but it feels deeper than my usual down-in-the-dumps days (and has lasted longer as well).  Last year, around my birthday, I was really down and it lasted for nearly a month.  It either naturally resolved itself or was helped along by my decision (and wife agreeing to support) the notion of making this very movie.  But, on a global scale, the things that were dragging me down last birthday aren’t replicated this year.  So what the hell is up (down) with me?

One of the reasons I put off this week’s (well, last week’s, as my reminder comes on  Sunday) blog post is because I’ve done so little this week.  I have a dead period right now and am not motivated to work on anything else, so decided to do this blog post. Maybe this Sunday I’ll be out of my funk and the next post will be more upbeat.  Or not.  The problem with this whole depression thing is I just don’t give a damn either way.


Oh, forgot to mention: I still haven’t done the crowdfunding site.  Thinking about that failure tends to depress me even more than thinking about the editing I’m not getting done, which is probably why I forgot to mention this when I first wrote the post.

Author: mitusents

Biochemist, MBA, then programmer. Now novelist, screenplay writer and hopefully director. What a strange trip it's been.